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TsurukoSama
08 August 2013 @ 04:11 pm
Some days I feel like you"ll outgrow me
And some days I feel I'm not worth your time
And one day I know you won't need me
Despite my efforts
I know one day,
You won't be mine

"It's all my fault"
"It's just the way I am"
Self-Loathing and Self-Sabotage is what I do best
I'll never understand

You're better than all the rest
All I'll do is just weigh you down
All I do is just bring you doubt
Please don't turn around

I used to be so strong
Where did I go wrong?
And hold my head high
Please tell me why

Some days I feel like you'll find another
The girl of your dreams
I know she isn't me
Despite my efforts
I know I'll never be

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TsurukoSama
15 January 2012 @ 08:35 pm
I want to be naive, and pretend all my happiness is within reach
So just let me be who you want me to be
Cause I don't know how to be anything else

I didn't want this but now it's how it's supposed to be

This scene replays in my mind like a dream
Remind me that this isn't reality
This isn't what it seems
It's just the games we play to get into bed

and the things we do to get ahead
Tags:
 
 
Current Mood: listlesslistless
Current Music: Golden - Fall Out Boy
 
 
TsurukoSama
14 August 2011 @ 08:53 pm
It's been a long time LJ. Tons have happened. I look back on past entries and it blows my mind.
I don't have an entry all ready to post. Instead I'm just writing what comes to mind. I don't think anyone will read this, but, I like writing here because I can reflect on the different stages of my life. I believe I've had this account for going on five years now! Wow! I don't think I'll ever shut down this account. I know I'll come back some day and post something.

I've been writing stories and lyrics lately, and trying to teach myself guitar again. I also found a person to teach me how to surf. He's this guy from my mom's work. he's about my age, so that's good. lol
I also got a job as a nanny. I love watching Courtney, she's such a delight <3 I love her.
No boyfriend, lol. Not for a long time, I don't plan on having one soon either. Too much bullshit comes with love, shit that I don't want to deal with right now. Though, the bullshit always seems to find me lol!
I finally cut all ties with Alex, Ben, and Kenji. I won't go into much detail, other than those boys are fucked up in the head. Psychopaths.
I also went to comic con this year! I had so much fun!! The aching feet were so worth it! I plan to go next year too!

That's about all I have to say haha. If anyone reads this please leave a comment below, much appreciated to read my rambling. Maybe more to come? Then again you know how much I'm on and off this thing. TTYL LJ! <3
 
 
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: blankblank
Current Music: Fall Out Boy
 
 
TsurukoSama
16 January 2011 @ 04:53 am
 It's been so long LJ. So many things i haven't posted. So many things I haven't checked or read. I remember long ago when I was addicted to posting updated and entries. Now, I can barely keep up with what is going on in my life.
Ugh, I miss the days of Mirosan and making avatars and websites. Now, I'm not so computer savvy. In fact, I'm almost the complete opposite. I wish to regain this knowledge, back to when I was happier. Now things are so complicated I yearn for the old, simple days. I wonder if I can ever feel like that ever again. Though I have never tried to indulge back into my old hobbies  I always wish to. Who knows, maybe one day I will?
I need a hobby. Any ideas?

That seems it for this entry. It's almost 5am. Time for bed. Goodnight. :3 ♥
 
 
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: distresseddistressed
Current Music: None
 
 
TsurukoSama
27 September 2010 @ 02:22 am
Its been a long time LJ. But noaw I can post from my phone! I love it! Time to start writing about my life. I guess lol.

Posted via m.livejournal.com.

 
 
 
TsurukoSama
21 March 2010 @ 03:25 pm
 It's time to heal and go back to the restless nights hanging out with all of my awesome friends. Me and Anthony are over, I decided that I could never be with him. So I want to be single for awhile. I don't want to just jump in bed with some one to make myself feel better or flirt around. All that stuff is immature and is all short-lived. It won't make you feel happy for long. 
LOL So happy.

EDIT: I even had to end being friends with him. I'm tired of being me in a way. Attaching myself to other people.
 
 
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: shockedwild
Current Music: So What - P!nk
 
 
TsurukoSama
10 March 2010 @ 02:08 pm
According to you
I’m stupid,
I’m useless,
I can’t do anything right.
According to you
I’m difficult,
hard to please,
forever changing my mind.
I’m a mess in a dress,
can’t show up on time,
even if it would save my life.
According to you. According to you.

But according to him
I’m beautiful,
incredible,
he can’t get me out of his head.
According to him
I’m funny,
irresistible,
everything he ever wanted.
Everything is opposite,
I don’t feel like stopping it,
so baby tell me what I got to lose.
He’s into me for everything I’m not,
according to you.

According to you
I’m boring,
I’m moody,
you can’t take me any place.
According to you
I suck at telling jokes cause I always give it away.
I’m the girl with the worst attention span;
you’re the boy who puts up with it.
According to you. According to you.

But according to him
I’m beautiful,
incredible,
he can’t get me out of his head.
According to him
I’m funny,
irresistible,
everything he ever wanted.
Everything is opposite,
I don’t feel like stopping it,
so baby tell me what I got to lose.
He’s into me for everything I’m not,
according to you.

I need to feel appreciated,
like I’m not hated. oh no
Why can’t you see me through his eyes?
It’s too bad you’re making me decide

According to me
you’re stupid,
you’re useless,
you can’t do anything right.
But according to him
I’m beautiful,
incredible,
he can’t get me out of his head.
According to him
I’m funny,
irresistible,
everything he ever wanted.
Everything is opposite,
I don’t feel like stopping it,
baby tell me what I got to lose.
He’s into me for everything I’m not,
according to you. [you, you]
According to you. [you, you]

According to you
I’m stupid,
I’m useless,
I can’t do anything right


This song is my life right now, lol. Maybe I'm just making the album to my life. lol
 
 
TsurukoSama
05 March 2010 @ 02:24 pm
 Notice my new Avi??? Yaye! It took a few minutes to make, though it's not as good as I wanted it to come out, it came out pretty good. It's of my beautiful Yuan! ^ w ^ SQUEEEEEE!!! ♥ ♥ ♥

I'm so drained.....uggghhh...I'm working until midnight AGAIN! I'm so tired...I just wanna take a nap. 
This will probably be my last post until Monday. You see I am grounded from the internet, cell phone, and iPod until I get my grades back up. T w T
So I'll write you you all later. ^ w ^

Buh byesssss..!!!

^ 3 ^ BESOS!
 
 
Current Location: School
Current Mood: tiredtired
Current Music: None
 
 
TsurukoSama
03 March 2010 @ 01:54 pm
When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse.

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above earth or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream, down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face and I...


Tears stream, down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face and I...


Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.



It's so weird that this is exactly how I feel right now. Though I don't need anyone to try and fix me. I feel kinda sad right now. Two nights ago it felt like no one was on my side. It's like I'm doing everything wrong. And for what? So that I won't feel all the pain? Yes. I'm still in a way holding on to Alex. I dream of him every night. In every dream he comes back to me, and I take him back. I know that a part of me wants to take him back, but in my head I know it's not right. I feel like he still has me, even though he doesn't want me. It's like that song "Best I Ever Had" By Vertical Horizon. You're only the best I ever had, You don't want me back, you're just the best I ever had.  Ughh maybe I just need to be alone for awhile...
 
 
Current Location: School
Current Mood: sadsad
 
 
TsurukoSama
03 March 2010 @ 10:08 am
Thatday, March 17th is coming up. The day we got together.Uggg. I think that I'm going to go hooka that day, lol. Damn, this computer sucks. I'll post later when I'm in my 6th period. ^ w ^
 
 
Current Location: Honan's class
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: Annoying perople trying to play music